Do you like my writing?

Hey, I'm a writer too. About your writing, hmm, maybe a little too much detail. If i looked close enough to the script, I think I could imagine it, the details are descriptive, but not gripping, therefore there isn't much flow in your words. Eliminate a little of the detail, for example, you wrote too much about the scene in the beginning, like with all the gr and stony steps. And since this is chapter one, i think it should start out differently. if you want an audience, you have to lure it to you, and to your writing. the first scene was honestly not gripping at all. Try a different beginning, and focus on important details and you're good to go. all in all, your style is good, really good, you just need practice like we all do. good job and good luck!!