Thursday, August 18, 2011

Me, my dad, and my mom?

I'm 22 and I haven't heard or talked to my dad in some years now. I walked into my dads life when I was 17 years old and from that day, including now he doesn't want nothing too do with me anymore. I would love to talk too him, visit him, do father/daughter things with him and gain that bond, and just be able to call him dad, but instead, he doesn't call me anymore, see me, or even help me out. I'm in need of a car and do you know that he has nothing to do with me or my problems? Instead, he comes and sees my mom and calls her, but he refuses too talk too me and it hurts very much; Sometimes, I cry and cry even more. My mom wants me too respect him, but too be honest, I forgot about my dad's existence. I was watching t.v. when she said this. I told her whatever and she got mad when I said that, but I meant well. My mom and dad have been separated for some years now and they just recently became friends a while back. I just don't care for my dad anymore; I don't call him, ask about his where-abouts, or ask him to do anything for me. It sucks, because my mom and dad have really never been in my life before. My mom was on drugs and she gave me and my sisters away to the state. My grandmother took us in and raised us; I've been in foster care for 10 years and the state has been helping my grandfather and step-grandfather out since that time. Willie, my step-grandfather is dead and he's been my father and role model. I miss him dearly, I wish he was here now. Anyways, between foster care, my dad, and my mom, things have been hard and tough for me and my 3 sisters. I just started a conversation with my mom; She doesn't know how to be a mom and now she's a grandmother and doesn't want anything to do with them or my sisters; her daughters. I wish I could take my whole life back and make things better, but I can't. I pray every night for a man to come into my life and too make things better for me and our family if we have one, I pray to God that I won't ever give up my kids for the streets and drugs, and I pray to God for a man to love me, respect me, and love his family. My grandmother is my mom and I go to her for my problems; My other 3 sisters really don't have that bond with my mom, just me. Me and my oldest sister have the same dad, my baby sister and other sister under me has different dads. I look up to my grandfather, my grandmother, and God as my dad.

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